I Want the Better Thing
April 20, 2017
As I mentioned in a previous post, there are some big changes coming for our family. The most rapidly-approaching one is the sale of our business in less than a week. We started our little company nearly two years ago, and substantial amounts of blood, sweat and tears have gone into building it from nothing. We were recently faced with having to make a decision about the future of the business, and we concluded that moving on to a new adventure is the best thing for our family.
In recent months, the time-intensive nature of the business and operating our retail store began to feel like a heavy weight. We opened in our new location last fall and, after a few months, we were able to better understand what would be required in order to generate enough income to support our family. It is already difficult to balance daily life and homeschooling with the current demands on our time, and growing to the point where my husband could quit his day job would require a great deal more from us. We have had many conversations with our kids about how our schedule was affecting them, and we realized that if we fully committed to the road we were starting to walk down, we would be sacrificing a lot of moments with them. Moments that we would never get back. After a lot of prayer and many tearful conversations, we decided we aren’t willing to build a successful business at the expense of our family.
Although we feel much peace about our decision and are ready to make the transition, there are certainly some difficult moments in all of it. I know it may sound silly, but this business has been like a fourth child to us in many ways! We have spent countless hours nurturing this thing, and our fingerprints are all over every aspect of its operation. It is emotional and incredibly difficult to hand your hard work and creativity and passion over to someone else who likely has different plans and ideas. More difficult than I would have guessed. I think I’m realizing that I placed some of my identity in how people perceive our business. There is also a little voice that whispers to us that we are quitters and failures for walking away. It seeks to speak discouragement into our hearts when others don’t understand our decision. It tries to get us to turn our eyes inward to focus on what we are giving up rather than what we are gaining. I ask God everyday to help me listen to His voice instead.
This definitely isn’t the path we thought we were on, but we don’t regret walking down it. We are certain that there is purpose in this journey. We walk away with increased faith and a greater dependence on the Lord. We learned many valuable lessons about running a small business and discovered that we love to work together! We also got to know some wonderful people in our community and were able to share the love of Christ with individuals we never would have met if not for the business. I am very grateful for the experience and opportunity He gave us, even though it did not play out quite like I expected.
I realize that what He has in store for us next in no way looks like the course I thought my life would take, but I am confident that it is better than any plan I could construct for our family. And that’s what I want. I want the better thing! Even if it results in disappointment or heartache or sorrow, I know it’s better because, in it, God will produce in me a heart that more closely resembles His. As I trust Him with my life and with my family…as I choose to release my grip on the plans I have made…as I offer up my illusion of control, He will make something beautiful. And it will always be better.